Thursday, May 2, 2013

Guidelines for writing a letter to an ex-boyfriend

1. Clarify your goals. If you're really thinking about your ex a letter, the first thing that you want to attach is because you're doing in the first place! And ' fairly common practice, especially among the ladies, to write a letter to a former simply for the sake of catharsis (you're not going to send the letter ... ever). If this is your intention, your writing process will be very different and probably much easier. However, if you are writing a letter as an apology/reconnection/reconciliation, you will want to be very clear to the reader. In the first section of your letter, the greeting message, state your purpose. Examples:

" I was thinking recently and was wondering how you were doing ". . "-L ' Platonic intent.

" I miss the fun we had, and I was hoping that we might be able to get "-again romantic Intent.

2. accentuate the positive. Even if you're writing a letter going to burn, always highlighting the good in your life. This serves a few purposes. First, it increases your self-esteem and evaluates the positive changes that have taken place in your life after the ' last seen your ex. Also, if you're going to send the letter, in particular as an instrument for reconciliation, accentuating the positive highlights to your ex that you are independent, strong and successful. In addition, an optimistic tone is definitely more attractive to anyone, regardless of the circumstances, self-pity. The ' last thing you'd want in a letter to a former ' is an outpouring of complaints followed by a desperate appeal for reconciliation. And ' certainly possible you have problems finding definitive positive changes in your life since the release of Mr. ' Ex, and if this is the case, don't be afraid. Think of events, hobbies, or milestones that are important to you, even if they are small, and be sure to mention this in your letter. In this way not only builds a ' image of success, but also gives a basis for reconciliation conversation should take place.

3. Humble Pie, anyone? If you are looking for closure by an ex, there is really no ' need to be humiliated. Of course, it would probably be nice for Former to hear that you don't mind all your past mistakes and that you assume full responsibility for the end of your relationship. This is not always necessary. However, if you are looking for more from this interaction, perhaps even that all elusive reconciliation, can be forced to spit a little ' more than a few witty small talk.

And if this is the case, don't be afraid. Think of events, hobbies, or milestones that are important to you, even if they are small, and be sure to mention this in your letter. In this way not only builds a ' image of success, but also gives a basis for reconciliation conversation should take place.

3. Humble Pie, anyone? If you are looking for closure by an ex, there is really no ' need to be humiliated. Of course, it would probably be nice for Former to hear that you don't mind all your past mistakes and that you assume full responsibility for the end of your relationship. This is not always necessary. However, if you are looking for more from this interaction, perhaps even that all elusive reconciliation, can be forced to spit a little ' more than a few witty small talk.

Reflect on your relationship. There were problems that maybe were responsible? C ' was an indiscretion (God forbid, cheating!) That led to that disgusting break-up? If so, you will be prompted at this point to clench your teeth and, ehm, excuse for any of these offenses. We don't need to turn into a whino self-deprecating. Just take responsibility for your mistakes and move on.

4. open the door for the feedback. A positive and well constructed letter is great. However, if you're hoping for more closure, perhaps even a phone call in return, be sure to give your ex a ' to ' for the communication continues. A natural way to get this done? Ask questions! Think about the last time they were ' in touch with your ex, and query thought in relation to issues of that time. Ask after friends and family (maybe even a pet quality!). This not only facilitates the conversation once that takes place, but it also shows that you are interested in. And unless you want a reconciliation built around the postal service, might also be a good idea to give your ex a altnerate means to you (i.e. your phone number).

5. to be short and sweet! So you've upgraded Ex. You have described the current situation in enthusiastically. You apologized for past indiscretions (as needed) and made it possible for the former to get in touch with you. Now, before you dive into a detailed monologue about how much you miss the former said, your favorite memories, etc., stop yourself. Receiving a letter from an ex is over-whelming enough, and if your ex is truly interested in reconciliation, trust me, they will. This does not require a large part of your speech or some dignity that destroy the ' begging. Sign your name (' really ' okay), carefully review and get the thing to post.

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