Now that I've completed a few laps in the pool online dating, I'm cogitating another crackpot theories of Karen life. This is denial. Or hit off. Or not be compatible. Or the refusal to compromise. Which could all be the same, more or less, depending on how you look. Anyway here's my theory:
It seems that the intensity of the reaction a person has a 'refusal' is inversely proportional to the confidence they have in their concept of a higher power. Stay with me this one ... I think I can connect everything so it makes sense.
We say that a person has faith in something a little more perceptive, ordered, organized or him. He does not pray or surrender or hear his connection to any type of creator / source / deeper order / life force. Relies only on his mind for guidance, and does not believe in any kind of larger picture of what he can perceive with his senses.
When a person with a conscience who thinks that he met his one and only, but she does not share his perception, then everything goes out of whack in his world. His life feels bad, as from its own path. He tries to reason with her, to convince her that she should remain, she is making a mistake, because you, without, his life seems empty.
You can consider their condition to be a simple case of incompatibility in some important area, but receives a personal rejection, and feels as if something was wrong with him that needs correction. I can not imagine a more impotent and incapable of being the market rather than feeling like something is wrong with you that will keep you from ever having what you want, and not to know or be able to strive to resolve the problem.
Instead, let's look at a person of faith, whether religious, spiritual or contemplative / experiential. When she notes that a new perspective does not feel the same kind of potential for a healthy partnership and growth that makes him, his reaction is on a different level.
You may feel some pain or sadness, but she does not feel his opinion as a statement of opinion on who he is. You're not going to campaign to woo him back. She does not start a campaign of self-improvement to fix all its shortcomings. She simply accepts that his time with him was short, and his trust in a higher power can relax, because you feel you are driving, and took a wrong turn and it would be better herself and get it back on track.
It is hoped that the partner is looking not require convincing. It gives the plan the biggest, knowing that can only have the ability to see a step or two ahead of where it is, but That Never doubt that she will get through. Aware of the comforting presence and continues its inner guidance, you feel alone, abandoned or misplaced. She lets him go, and you can experience his emotional reaction to loss, and then go ahead.
So if I were to give any advice to my colleagues swimmers, this would be: Focus more of your energy on growing a relationship with a higher power higher Than your mind and senses, and your energy finding your perfect match. Then you can admire the grace to let people come and go from your life, how they are connected to do, and feel free to do the same.
Copyright 2006 Karen Alonge
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