Divorce. It is never easy. One of the most heart wrenching are the children. In fact, staying together for the good of the boys can really be a form to be together, because we do not know how to deal with emotions.
Of course your children will be upset by the divorce. Who could blame them? In reality it is a "normal reaction. It 'good for children to experience these negative feelings. More importantly, they need to express them. Do not be distressed by their concerns. The best thing you can do for children is to accept and support their feelings.
Sometimes pre-scripting your answers can make you feel stronger in your beliefs. Here are some suggested ways to be supportive and comforting to your children.
If he / she express the sadness?
"Yes, I feel sad, too. Mom and Dad wanted to live together forever. I am sad that we can not. Unfortunately not always get what we want.
Is he / she angry?
"Yes, I am there with you. If my parents could not live together and I wanted them to, I'd be mad, too. But sometimes it just can not continue to live together."
Is he / she afraid of? "Yes, he feels fear when things are changing. Especially if we're not sure what's going to happen. But it may be surprised, so could be out for an adventure, and it may be better than what we're doing" .
If he / she blame you or themselves? "Yes, I know that when things do not go as hoped, it was thought to be someone's fault. But sometimes things just happen and is not nobody's fault.
The magic word is YES. The first step is to accept the feelings of the child and give them the confidence that you agree with them. Therefore propose an alternative way of looking at the situation.
We know that divorce is never easy and may need help at this difficult time.
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