Lately I've had a number of customers who have a very difficult time overcoming the end of a relationship, so let me share with you some secrets on how to heal.
I have a client named Dorothy, who is struggling to let go of a relationship with a boy who had initially thought it was perfect for her. When we began working with Dorothy was really angry and frustrated that, once again, was forced to re-build his love life. The only good thing about these feelings is that they have removed any temptation to get right back into dating.
The first step for any client I work with in this situation is to have that feel Their feelings is an essential part of the healing process.
Some people really struggle with the feeling of certain feelings. Some of us are easier with anger, others with sorrow. Dorothy was more comfortable with being angry, but was very reluctant to admit that his anger was masking his feelings of grief and loneliness. Those feelings made her feel vulnerable in a way that resisted furiously. He encouraged me to explore all her feelings by writing a 'letter of sorrow' for his ex.
Pain Letter
To send your letter to take the time to explore what you are going to lose and what you do not want to lose.
- What are you angry?
- What are you sad?
- What this means to break fear?
- What was your part to break?
- What is always going to love or appreciate about your ex?
This is called a scale of emotions and it's nice to write your letter regarding the above. Feel free to use these questions as headings. That said if you need to keep coming back to anger then please do and then go back to the ladder again.
It 'important that you realize that you are never going to send this letter, so you can explore and perhaps even totally unreasonable, what previously would have been insufferable open on how bad you feel.
Explore these questions so that you can feel all the things that you suspect may be true although I would prefer they were not. Write the letter as if you were writing to someone who cares how you feel.
It 'very important that you take the time to do it. Every time you leave a relationship there is the danger of suppressing your emotions because of the pain and disappointment. That suppression continues after the break and makes you less attractive and may start to limit the capacity to love.
If you go through this phase of feeling your feelings properly then you will be able to reconnect with at least some of the love he felt for this person I parted from you. Not in a way that eats you, but in a way that feeds your sense of having a life worthy of love. If you loved deeply once, then you can do it again. It takes work to keep your heart healthy and open, but it is a very valuable work.
This is the first step in a process that can take anywhere from days to months and is a good solid first step. When Dorothy began to be honest about how she felt sad and lonely, but I'm afraid of how she felt overwhelming. As if somehow he could get lost in the feelings or who never feel good again. This process needs to recognize that your feelings are not something to fear. If you're feeling sad you're just sad. It does not necessarily mean there is something wrong with your life that must be solved. Sometimes the best thing you can do for you is right to recognize that you feel sad.
The end of a relationship is often the death of something that had to be beautiful for a while. That said, no matter how great your pain, you want to get through it. You are much bigger than your worst feeling.
Two months of Dorothy has learned a lot about his car and one of its unexpected breakthroughs is that they are not alone in the house makes her feel as if there was something wrong with her. Suddenly, the solitude is not so scary and this place she is in a much better position to think that I had actually done some of his life.
Feeling your feelings is the shortest way for healing and the only way out is through. Just remember that even your darkest minute is only 60 seconds.
For the remaining 6 points of healing a broken heart to visit my site.
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