Things to do and Dont's of caring for your child during the divorce

When a couple has children, the last thing that usually comes to mind is the possibility that one day the divorce and will have to raise their children separately. But, of course, sometimes this happens, and how parents there are some basic steps you can take to make it easier for them and for yourself.

First, you should remember and constantly remind your child that is not their fault that you are getting a divorce. The children want to please their parents, and often takes place the blame for the divorce of parents about themselves. This is not healthy, and is known to cause depression and anger in children, it is not clear to them that you are responsible for divorce.

Secondly, do not call your spouse names in front of your children, and to the extent possible, limit the arguments between you and your spouse, which can be heard by children. Remember, the person you're divorcing is still the mother of your child's father. The divorce is between you and your spouse in order to keep it that way. When you call your spouse names in front of your child, the one affected by this is not your children, your spouse.

Thirdly, do not ask your children to betray their parents, asking them what your spouse told you before them. This puts them in the middle of a very embarrassing situation. Remember that your children, not sources of information. When you ask your child to be involved, it forces them both to tell what was said, or are face to protect their parent.

Fourth, if you have scheduled times with your children, be sure to keep them! Never tell your child you're too busy to see them. During a divorce, a child's life is already torn. Regardless of your feelings for your spouse, your child still loves you and needs to be there for them.

Fifthly, it is important to create as much consistency between home and the home of your spouse during and after divorce. Not all homes have the same rules, but there should be some rules that apply to both houses. These rules include bedtime, which movies are allowed and which foods to stay away. If you disagree with something your spouse is doing in their house, talk to them about it. Try to reach an agreement so your children can have a sense of security and stability at both houses.

Finally, the most important thing to remember in a time like this is that your children should know that you love them. Talk to them. Let them know that's not their fault you and your spouse are getting a divorce. Understand that even after telling a child that is not their fault, many still blame. This will pass eventually. If you do not pass, you should seek advice for your child.